1. |
To Say the Least
03:41
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i'd drive roads white
to sleep on the side of you
i always find:
the ink from my pen is wet,
there is heat in the sky
and you in my head
if we met too soon
let's go back
and slow things down
to become who I wasn't yet
to change who I am now
just to know you like that
if i never have
i'm convinced i can't
i always start to connect and understand
then back out
un-follow the footprints that mislead me here
28.. half awake.. wondering..
is everyone else just constantly thinking?
where are you?
i'm thinking constantly...
when you look in my eyes
i know you know i'm not there at all times
but i'm trying
usually to come back to you
but i need you to know
i'll probably never stay
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2. |
Apologies
02:07
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well aware that i'm sick
increasingly ill-equipped to handle it
lost in memories of being a kid
incase you were wondering where i've been
you're all please and over fed
despite your lack of initiative
your fever runs
you exhaust your skin
no answer, repeat the same question
i get no reply
i am everything you suspect
i am distance in time
the space between each second
when you don't know what to say
and neither do i
just keep my arms crossed
feeling her in the room
entertain the thought of letting go soon
i know i'm far away all the time
i try to replace you again
to see if the rain subsides
but it ends up getting worse
when you're around
there's a radio silence between us
and i die in the sound
you want me to explain something i can't even name
like a loss that has yet to be found
and i don't know what to say
and why should i?
so, i will no longer apologize
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3. |
It's Always Been
02:23
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you're always laying down easy
waiting for something else
to happen with/to/for you
heaven isn't what heaven is
it's not at all like the pictures
i'm uncertain about a lot of things right now
something I can't reconcile
or maybe just don't appreciate
haven't you thought long enough to begin?
no, not like this
not this quick
besides, you're always talking about big machines in the sky
and maybe you're right, and no one understands...
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4. |
Making Arrangements
03:25
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backseat, i’ll let your world be what it wants
whatever you want
i’ll fade on
and god gives strength when the needs arise
keep pretending we’ve found peace
despite what haunts
because what haunts is your voice
and i hear you all the time
deepening
broadening
i’m hoping you’ll change
seeing new faces
and unlearning names
watch your heart
anther of the stamina
you say you’re lost
well, all failures earned here
just keep the car running
for an obvious return
leave the door open
make believe you’re somewhere else
tell the truth,
are you coming home?
have you found new faith in moving on?
will you think of me
on dirty old highways
and think our lives left incomplete?
all comforts outgrown
our comfort outgrown
all comforts outgrown
so you’re making arrangements
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5. |
On a Weekday, Driving
03:22
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careful conversations
i sort of lose face
and you don’t seem too well today
you’re always on guard
waiting for a confident change
while i just do my best to behave
and i’m waking up
coffee’s on
and you’re making up reasons for why you’re not
the sun is out
grab the grocery bag from your arm
the kids run inside
am i missing out?
i guess, yeah.
“forget yourself,”
you said,
“i’m running out of reasons to care.”
while i arrange my thoughts again
to get in line.
begin your day.
you’re afraid to try.
i was riding the train
somewhere to another state
i thought of you
thought about god
and what you said one time
i realized then
i haven’t found it yet
fully charged
without destination or purpose
just the longing to be sometimes
i feel alone and i drive for hours on end
why couldn’t you be stronger, more direct back then?
we could settle like dust on the ceiling fan
we’ll rise up just to get pulled back down again
begin your day.
i’m not afraid to try.
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6. |
Staying Home
04:26
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just when i think it might be safe
one notion, one short distance
my mind changed
i’m hoping you’ll come out of this
see me in light like you once did
held up in your apartment
i’m trying to answer your questions
but between dreams of you
and walls i build
i’m too sick to fall back asleep
and this pain in my shoulder blade is getting worse
from laying around, afraid.
just when i think i might be saved
one notion, one short distance
my mind’s changed
i’m hoping you’ll snap out of it
see me the way that you said you did
held up in this apartment
unable to answer these questions
i can’t believe you did this one more time
i want you now to stay dead to me
that tethered hand that i would die to hold
should be cut away
like the insides of me
when you leave
you failed me
you’re an actor after all
i blink and you change completely
from black to white
you’re an island, alone
and now i’ll drift far away
to someone else who will share their last name
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7. |
It's Happening Already
02:45
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please just tell me i can find you
some place close in a few years
when you’ve dried out
and gotten well
maybe saved your own life from yourself
because i have wasted years in you
and i’ll never look back
i have wasted tears in you
and i will never again
february has been the worst so far
it was so cold that my radio wouldn’t turn on
to tune out thoughts of you in the spring
when you weren’t yet such a stranger to me
so, i’ll waste years on you forever
coming back
and i will hate you for this
because i know you’re never coming back
i know you won’t care if i take off in a year
end my past where you begin to face the truth
i think i have always spoken too soon
never think of consequences
i just want things to look a certain way
so you will believe in me
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8. |
No Islands
03:34
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there are days when i can see the truth
behind angles that you’ve carved me though
i keep catching you
leading me in
and i want to stay
forever you burn
just like she used to
in some obvious way
i’ve become the drained refuge
i hardly feel at all like i’m contributing to the good in us
will we start to follow it?
i keep losing you
i leave the porch lights lit
but i know you won’t stay
a conscience can burn so much
like when i hear her sing
in some obvious way
she’s become the drained refuge
i hardly feel at fault, though i’m contributing
it’s not adding up
but i’ll settling for an absent line
fill your veins with time
i always measure mine
oh, you stay long in my mind
holy and untouched
always on my mind
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9. |
Interlude
01:26
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10. |
Down the Aisle
02:48
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as you age will your heart change?
coming from me,
i know i lack a few things
you may need so that you can sleep
and live out your dreams
for just a few more hours
to wander the distance
the concrete resistance
the walls around the heartbeats
you have my confidence
but you will never have me
i’ve watched you become new
someone else entirely
i’m fading but praying patiently
with no resolve
i think it is just me and the way i see
or refuse to, in this case, today
i fold my hands and pretend to believe
but the truth is i get so afraid that i can’t even speak
and to cover my indifference
i circumvent all connections
and build walls around the heartbeats
as you’re walks down the aisle
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11. |
New History
03:19
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in your mind
it is still 1993
there’s a broken door frame
and it hangs like wishes you’ve made
for a healthy kid
or a husband to blame
when you lose who you are
and you’re tired
because you have not stopped moving for months
the last several years
the ‘empty’ has broken the gates
and we see it
in all the ways you’ve tried to run from
we see it
if i had an answer
i wouldn’t need to scale these walls at night
when you need me the most
i still hide
still believing in something
i’ve proved it wrong for the thousandth time
august in a dull heat,
i’m afraid you’ll always hate me
for what i let happen to us
because this was real to me
but have some faith in your life
because you’ve been dying thus far anyway
i’ve seen you lighten up occasionally
and it’s great when you do
if you offer me something new
maybe i will take one
we’ll make arrangements again
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12. |
Gifts from You
04:55
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come back
i didn’t want things to get this far
i’m in the way
the usual outcome will follow, i’m sure
no sudden change
give them new
give them you
incomplete and soaked in rain
i still listen to this mind
and i don’t know why
but nothing can move me from this
i’m the anxious waiting on sundays
i’m the cause of failure you can’t ignore
the serious conversation
between two people who don’t talk anymore
and i don’t know why
it’s a complication
surrounding myself with gifts from you
i’m not ready to look passed
it’s already here
still convalescing
i’m making good on staying away
the thoughts come back
“there’s a reason for it”
someone like me would say something like that
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Give Up Scranton, Pennsylvania
Give Up is a post-hardcore band from Scranton, PA consisting of Titus Thompson, Gerardo Barone, and Ed Zaleski. They have released 2 albums. The follow up to their EP "No Exits" is the most recent LP called "Pretend You're Here." Both self released, self produced, and self exposing. The trio has been compared to bands from the early 2000's era. ... more
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